I had the opportunity to give a brief talk at a MOPS meeting last week. I am slightly editing this talk and publishing it for this morning's WHY-Wednesday post.
Early May of last year I wrote about why I waked up before my kids, and later that same month I wrote about why I read through the Bible in a year, every year. I am humbled to see how powerfully the Lord has used those two "tools" in my life.
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Today I am going to share with you the story of how the Lord captured my heart, satisfied my soul, and gave me the rest I deeply longed for. The story of how the Lord broke me after the birth of our son, and how through the aggressive reading of the Scriptures, He wooed me back to Himself.
Soon after our son Byron was born, I found myself angry and resentful with life. Just to clarify, I wasn’t depressed. No, my problem was an issue of the heart. I began thinking to myself:
Early May of last year I wrote about why I waked up before my kids, and later that same month I wrote about why I read through the Bible in a year, every year. I am humbled to see how powerfully the Lord has used those two "tools" in my life.
****
Today I am going to share with you the story of how the Lord captured my heart, satisfied my soul, and gave me the rest I deeply longed for. The story of how the Lord broke me after the birth of our son, and how through the aggressive reading of the Scriptures, He wooed me back to Himself.
Soon after our son Byron was born, I found myself angry and resentful with life. Just to clarify, I wasn’t depressed. No, my problem was an issue of the heart. I began thinking to myself:
“If only I had a few hours to myself each
week,”
“if only I was no longer nursing,”
“if only I could fit into my
jeans,”
“if only my husband came home from work earlier.”
When I was at my
whit’s end, with a broken and weary heart, I began reading through the
Bible. In January of 2014, when my son
was only three months old, I began waking up at 6 AM to read my Bible and spend
time in the presence of the Lord. I was
doubtful it would even make a difference, but I was desperate, and it turns out
desperation was all I needed. I needed
to be desperate for Christ.
And the Lord met
me. He used my time in His presence and
in His Word to woe me to Himself. He
said: “I am all you need, I am the only
one who satisfies.” Six AM became the
highlight of my day, with the Lord reminding me day after day after day that He
was enough.
Since then I’ve
put my children in a Mother’s Day Out program to give myself a few hours each
week. My son has been weaned, I’ve lost
my baby weight, and the husband is now coming home from work earlier. But it’s been reassuring to see that none of it was enough. None of these things delivered the way I had
hoped they would.
I learned that
to put my hopes on anything other than Jesus was like chasing after the
wind. It’s useless, and only ever leaves
me frustrated and empty-handed. I
learned that the day will come when all the good
things I’ve been longing for -- the big house, the perfect husband, the good
health, and the successful children – will all come true, and it will not be enough.
To put my hopes on anything other than
Jesus is like chasing after the wind. Only
Jesus satisfies, and only Jesus is enough.
So, what does
the highlight of my day look like? What
is my time in the presence of the Lord like every morning?
1. First off, my
time in the presence of the Lord gives
me rest. In Genesis 4, after Cain
murders his brother Abel, the Lord drives him out of the land, and this is what
Cain tells the Lord in response: “I will
be hidden from your presence; I will
be a restless wanderer on the
earth.”
An immediate
result of being in the presence of the Lord is that it brings us rest, regardless
of the storms we are facing. It seems
contradictory to say that to add
something to our lives will calm things down, but it’s true! I have experienced it for myself.
2. Secondly, when
I’m in the presence of the Lord, I use that time to read through the Bible, cover to cover, and treat it like one
book. Did you know that the Bible is one
Story of the Lord rescuing His people back to Himself? Once I started treating the Bible as one book
instead of a study tool, or a collection of good inspiring and challenging
stories, my understanding and love for the Lord grew exponentially.
My time in the
presence of the Lord is just me, the Bible, the Holy Spirit, and very little of
anything else. Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword.” It
was in fact the Word of God and His Spirit that broke me and brought me
back to Himself.
3. And lastly, my
time in the presence of the Lord happens first
thing in the morning. I have found
that this is the most consistent and reliable time in my day to
do it. My kids get up at 7 AM, so I wake
up at 6 AM, Monday through Sunday, and I never ever regret it. It is the highlight of my day. I know this may be hard to fathom, but give it a try. You
may be surprised.
The truth is
that when we spend time with the Lord, and immerse ourselves in His Word daily,
it will never leave us empty,
and we will never regret it. We will be
satisfied, and given all that we’re in need of.
2 comments:
Lauren, I'm so grateful for your post today. Thank you for your vulnerable heart and your desire to know Christ more every day. You are an inspiration!
Thanks, Cuz! It's been a sweet journey, and one I'm thankful for. I count it a privilege to be His.
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