I did not do it because I thought they needed to socially interact with other kids (they get plenty of that elsewhere).
I did not do it because I thought they needed to learn certain skills I couldn't teach them myself.
I did not do it because I needed childcare so I could work to make money.
(All of these are good and valid reason. They just weren't my reasons).
You see, something happened a few weeks ago--
I crumbled into so many little pieces, that crying for no reason in particular became an everyday thing.
"So how was your day today?" asks the hubby after a long day at work.
"well... I cried twice today" I would say, as if sharing the day's weather or something.
Next thing I know, I've landed at the doctor's office, seeking for answers...
am I depressed?
do I need medication?
why am I acting like this?
Long story short-- I am not depressed!
I am not.
But a lot is going on, and I need to begin to slooooooww doooowwwn.
The doctor who saw me (who I love and respect very much) listened, talked and prayed with me.
"Lauren, we will run the tests. We will make sure. But my gut feeling is that it will all come back OK"-- she said.
And she was right.
It all came back OK.
"This is what you need--
you need regular dates with the hubby,
you need friends,
and you need time for yourself.
All of this will be cheaper than any medication I can give you.
And if after this you still feel sad, then we can talk again."
So we've done some rearranging.
I've changed the way I do some things.
And I've signed my kids up for MDO.
I have not cried for no particular reason since.
So why did I sign my kids up for MDO?
Doctor's orders :)