Emma's first purchase

I feel like the "cool" parenting thing to do these days is teach your children to do chores around the house from before the time they can walk.

I understand the sentiment.  You want to teach them that you expect them to pull their own weight around the house.

So I tried it all.  From folding our napkins, to sorting silverware, and I've got to make a confession -- it's exhausting.  

So I've changed directions a bit--  There is a vending machine at the Kroc Center that Emma is always wanting to get a treat from.  So I've decided that instead of teaching my child to do chores around the house just for the sake of it, I would instead focus on trying to teach her the relationship between work and money.

So every day, Emma has the chance to earn 20 cents -- a dime for letting Mommy put her clothes on quickly and without being fussy, and a second dime for helping Mommy make her bed and pick up her room quickly and without being fussy.

This normally allows her to earn and save up enough money for a vending machine treat once a week.  Two weeks ago was her first purchase.

She was so proud of herself!  

She is also a sweet big sister in that she generously shares of her hard-worked reward with her baby brother.

Friday nights

We've started somewhat of a new tradition of going out for doughnuts with the kids on Friday nights.  It's a little bit chaotic right now with a toddler that doesn't want to sit still for more than 2 minutes, so we are reevaluating the location.  Either way, it's been fun knowing that a family outing is the way we get to wrap up the workweek in our household.

Emma's new piggy bank

Soon after BB broke Emma's piggy bank (a pink bear), Emma was set on getting a blue pig next.  I wanted to make sure not to get her hopes up, since I wasn't sure we would be able to find one.  

But our luck is such, that on a trip to the Dollar Tree, we found one.  She spotted it half an aisle away and dashed towards it.  She was so excited about it, it merited a picture (check out her purse, btw).

Santa in February

Even though we don't do Santa, it was fun running into him at Costco the other day.  He was wearing Christmas colors, and very much playing "the part."  As we were walking by him, he saw the kids and said:  "ya'll be a good boy and girl."  He was so kind, and for whatever reason, I found myself being so thankful for him.  Something about him embracing his role all year long, and giving Christmas just that extra touch of specialness :)

Everything is getting broken

Within the past 4 - 6 weeks, just about everything that can be broken in our house has been broken.  Byron the Third has seen to that.

It all started with our lasted-through-Emma reading lamp in our TV room.  The Third pushed it and it fell to the ground.  Another day a plant pot was dropped and broken.  Then Emma's piggy bank was dropped and broken as well (like I said, everything is getting broken around here).

We replaced our reading lamp within a week or so of it being dropped, and guess what happened in just a few days?

Yup, dropped and broken.  I was so frustrated, I refused to buy another one.  Luckily, right around the time this was all happening, I was reading through the awesome book The Nesting Place ("it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful" -- anyone???  A must read!).  

So I got creative, and started glue gunning (actually, it was more like "I attempted to glue gun") some parchment paper (did you know parchment paper cannot be pasted with anything???  So annoying!).  So after lots of fiddling around, I ended up with this product:

I proudly texted the picture to the Husband, and he was like:  "mmmmm, I think that's a fire hazard."  

So what's a girl to do?  I load the kids in the van and head over to Goodwill.  Find a $3 lamp shade, cut the bottom, glue gun it to the lid of a Diablo's to-go bowl, and attach it to the top.

Quite lovely.  Never mind that it's crooked, and gotty, and if you looked close enough, you can tell it's cheaply made.  But hey, it's childproof, and cheaper than spooning out another $60 bucks for something that's more than likely going to break in the next 48 hours.

#lifewithboys

WHY-Wednesday: Why I despise myself for hating my laundry so much.

Oh how I hate dealing with laundry.  No matter how hard I try to figure out a system that helps me make laundry more manageable, it always seems to have the upper hand on me.  I honestly feel like the system I have going on right now is the best I've ever had, but still... as I type this, there are two loads that are partly folded, partly waiting to be folded, and a load of diapers that is yet to be put away.

It's actually not that bad, a lot of it is folded (remember I said that my current system seems to be the best so far) except notice that it is still in the laundry room, NOT where clean laundry belongs.  Never mind that the diaper load was done three days ago.  It's still there.

I hate doing laundry.  Yet I'm being ridiculous. 

How dare I despise the privilege of washing my own clothes at home?

Let's evaluate my circumstances for a little-- 

Most middle-class American homes like ours don't even have a separate "laundry room."  We do.

Strike ONE.

If I were still leaving in Mexico, regardless of my social class, chances are I would NOT even own a dryer.

Strike TWO.

As a matter of fact, during the two years we lived in Mexico after getting married, we didn't even own a washer and dryer.  I would take my dirty laundry to a laundromat and spend an entire afternoon doing my entire week's worth of laundry outside my home.

Strike THREE.

 Most people around the world will at best get to wash their clothes by hand (yes, I like to insert this little guilt trip in my blog every once in a while :p).
Strike FOUR.

Yet, despite it all, I still have the audacity to complain about my laundry.  Oooohhh, how it piles up.  Oooohhh, how I never seem to get it finished.  Oooohhhh, how I hate folding it.  Ooooohhhh, how I hate putting it away.  Oooohhhh... (fill in the blank).

Really???? Shame. On. Me.

Thank you Jesus, that though laundry can seem like such an unbeatable "giant," I still get to do it at home.  In a washer.  And a dryer.  In my own laundry room.  Thank you.

So what have I done to make laundry more manageable in our home?

I feel like I've tried it all.  From having a "laundry day" where I tackle all of the week's laundry in one day (majorly disliked that method), to having two "laundry days" where I split the week's laundry in two days, to doing a load of laundry every day (yes, I was doing small loads every day except Sundays... also no fun).

But all three of those methods just about did me in.  Whether I was washing clothes once a week, or washing clothes every day, with dirty diapers thrown in there twice a week, I was thinking about laundry ALL THE TIME. 

About two months ago I decided to try something new.  New for me, at least.  It may be common sense for the majority.

I used to just have one dirty laundry basket for the entire house, which no matter how hard I worked on staying on-top of, was always overflowing with clothes.  So I decided to add three additional baskets to the laundry room to help tame the monster:

Nothing fancy.  Just some $7 Target hampers.  

About every two days, I empty the "main" dirty laundry basket located in our room and separate the clothes into three categories in our laundry room:  whites, colors, and larges (jeans, towels, jackets, sweaters, etc).  Whenever one is full, I just stick it into the washing machine, then dryer, then out of dryer.

I don't think about it.  Don't obsess about it.  Don't revolve my week around "laundry day" anymore.  It just gets done when it gets done (except on Sundays, that's my day off.  But that's another post entirely).

And when there are about two or three clean loads sitting in the laundry room, I finish folding, and put it away all in one day.  Not too bad.

How do you tackle your laundry?  Do you find yourself complaining about this first-world problem as much as I do?

(PS -- I've just started making my own laundry detergent.  I'm excited to see how well it works and how cost efficient it becomes).

Happy entertaining

I was at Goodwill the other day trying to find a lamp shade (story for another day), and Emma found this Thomas the Train coloring book with 700 stickers for 99 cents.  I bought it on the spot, and it has provided the kids with unlimited entertainment for about four days so far.  Best 99 cents spent in a long time.

(Yes, Emma is wearing Byron's winter hat indoors.)

She writes "OMA"

Emma was enjoying herself while playing with some chalk, and all of the sudden she says:  "I write OMA."  Yes Honey, you sure did.  All by yourself. 

Birthday party

Emma and Mommy got to experience their first "school party" last Saturday at Monkey Joes.  I enjoyed watching her have so much fun with her little friends.

WHY-Wednesday: Why I'm not messing up my kids.

I'm going to start this post by saying that I actually do think I'm messing up my kids.  Just this morning, Emma and I butted heads during breakfast time.  She wanted a big peanut butter sandwich, yet I knew she would not eat it.  After lots (lots!) of whining, a time out, and lots of patient explaining on my part that she would not want to eat it, I gave in.  I made her the sandwich.  Let's just not fight that fight today, okay?  Sure enough, the sandwich just laid there, untouched.  I tried to encourage her take at least one bite, but it did not happen.  So I let that one slip by.

Less than three hours later, in the gym's parking lot, while getting back into the car seats, she asked for her milk.  I kindly informed her that there was no more milk.  That she had drank it all gone.  She then proceeded to yell "Noooooo!!!!" with such rudeness and intensity, that the average witness would have agreed that the incident deserved at least a spanking.  But no, I just let that one slip by.  Again.

Tedd Tripp is probably shaking his head in disapproval, wondering how it was that I let this wonderful chance to address my child's heart slip by.  And Dr. James Dobson is probably enlisting all the long-term consequences I'll be facing with Emma when she hits the teenage years.

But the truth is, I almost never have the energy.  And most days I'm just plain ol' confused.  

Am I supposed to spank?  Give a time out?  Have the child recreate the behavior?  Ignore it all together?

Are they supposed to take one nap?  Two naps?  No nap at all?

Are they supposed to be home-schooled?  Private-schooled?  Public-schooled?

Are they supposed to take dance classes?  Be on a soccer team?

Are they supposed to be read to from the day they are born?  Placed in music classes before they can sit up?

Are they supposed to be breastfed till they're six months?  Till they're one?  Till they're three?

Will the world end if I choose to bottle feed instead?

Is there a right answer?  Does it  even matter?

AM I MESSING UP MY KIDS???????
 

I think a better question to this is:  Does God even need me?  Am I doing Him a favor by being a wonderfully educated and discerning parent?

And the uncomfortable short answer is:  No, God does not need me.  He does not need me to raise His children.  He has lent them to me and He has entrusted them to me, but He does not need me.

He uses me, yes, that's for sure.  But He does not need me.

This became painfully evident to me this past week while I continued to inch my way through the Old Testament.  In Numbers 20 we see Moses and Aaron get punished by the Lord for not trusting Him.  They are told that because of their disobedience, they would not enter the Promised Land.

Did the Lord use Moses and Aaron?  Yes.  The the Lord use Moses and Aaron in a great way?  ABSOLUTELY!  Did the Lord need them?  No.

In fact, they are replaced so fast, it leaves our heads spinning.  Just a few verses later, Aaron is replaced by his son Eleazar, and Moses is soon replaced by Joshua son of Nun.

So where does that leave us?  Are we supposed to throw our hands up in the air and just sit the kids in front of the TV all day?  And once again, the uncomfortable answer is... yes we can.  But do we want to?  Do we really want to miss out on being a part of God's Great Story?  Do we want to be replaced by a teacher, or a mentor, or a grandparent?  Because you know what?  If those little ones are His, He will use someone else to do His work for you.

Ouch.

So bring the stress level down a notch.  Relax.  And when tension and confusion creep up, remember that the Lord is using you to raise His children, but He does not need you. 

Instead be like the boy in John 6, who with his meager offering of two fish and five loaves of bread (all that he had), Jesus was able to feed five thousand.

If you'd been in my head this morning, you would have heard me praying:  "Lord, I have no clue what I'm doing.  I've done my homework.  I've read the books.  Yet I have no idea what I'm doing.  But this is what I have:  I have two fish and five loaves, a poor offering, but I know that in Your hands it'll be multiplied and used greatly."

And friends, if you'll allow me to still be humble while I say this-- it's because of this that I'm certain I'm not messing up my kids.

(A few acknowledgements to this post:  The title for this entry was borrowed (without permission, btw) from Lysa TerKeurst's book Am I Messing Up My Kids?  I actually began reading this book, and 40 pages into it I decided I did not like it.  But the title of her book was pretty awesome, so I borrowed it.  The second acknowledgement is that the connection of the boy from John 6 with parenting was not drawn by myself.  I have borrowed it from Rachel Jankovic's chapter in the book Mom Enough).

Park

One of our favorite after-nap afternoon activities is going to the park.  Loved watching this boy faithfully, patiently, and persistently fill this bucket with sand.

All very busy...

So I was cleaning up dinner the other night, and I peek around the corner to find this:

Daddy Byron reading Little Byron a book.

Little Byron ignoring Daddy Byron, immersed in his own book.

And Emma, shirtless, paging through her own story.

A boy with a big sister

So this is the picture I'll one day pull out and show any potential love interests he may have in the (long) future.  

ps-- this was all his idea, btw ;)

Comfy boy

One does not need much to make himself at home... only Doggie, popcorn, milk, Frozen, and a comfy chair.

He likes his books

We had our doubts about LB ever liking books.  But most recently we have noticed his love for them.  He always wants a book in his hand while in the car, and will bring books to me to read to him, all while backing into my lap.

This morning, while getting myself ready, I caught him twice independently entertaining himself with them.

The circus

We took the kids to their first circus experience last night.  We went with our friends and their two children, and enjoyed watching Emma and Byron get wide-eyed over the balls (bawls), dogs (dawgs), lights and elephants.

A pom for a boy

We continue to get creative about our pom around here.  Not only does he use the lego piece as a pacifier, he has also taken Emma's doll's pacifier for himself.  There is nothing to suck on, just a short stick that is used to keep the pom in place with the doll, yet that doesn't seem to bother Byron.  I think it's mostly the idea of having a paci that he likes, not so much that he soothes himself with it.

More slouching

So we're still quite the lazy little boy.  I pulled out the stroller the other day to take the kids for a walk, and while I was getting Emma ready, LB climbed himself into the stroller and comfortably slouched himself there while he patiently waited for the ladies to finish getting ready.

Our little artist

Emma enjoys taking her Mini Monet art class at the Kroc center once a week.

Bubble painting. 

WHY-Wednesday: Why "you need only to be silent"

The account of Moses and the Crossing of the Red Sea.  One of the most iconic Old Testament stories, and one I have personally read through dozens of times.

Israel flees Egypt.  Egypt  chases after them.  Israel hits the sea shore.  Israel begins to complain to Moses.  Moses splits the sea.  Israel crosses undamaged.  Egypt not so much.

THE END.

Or is it?

The account of Moses and the Crossing of the Red Sea has little impact on our lives if we only allow it to be a good moral story of trust and obedience.

So join me as we take a closer (and more personal) look into this powerful scene in God's Redemptive Story.

By the time the exodus takes place, Israel had been living in Egypt for more than 400 years.  They were enslaved by the Egyptians and mistreated for the majority of their time there.

But Israel belongs to the Lord.  They are His chosen people.  They are the apple of His eye.

So He frees them.

And they leave Egypt.  For good.

But Egypt goes chasing after them, and the Israelites hit the Red Sea.  They're trapped, with no way out, and are as good as dead, right?

Read what happens next (Exodus 14:13-14, ESV):

"Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today... The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

The NIV says:  "and you have only to be still."

Then for the remainder of the chapter we see the Israelites stand on the sidelines and watch the Lord do battle for them--

-  The angel of God... withdrew and went behind them.  The pillar of cloud also moved... behind them (v. 19)

-  The Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land (v. 21)

-  The Lord looked down... at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion (v. 24)

-  He jammed the wheels of their chariots so that they had difficulty driving (v. 25)

-  The Lord swept them into the sea (v. 27).

-  Not one of them survived (v. 28)

... not one of them survived.

What is your Red Sea?  That seemingly impossible situation that the Lord has led you to and are convinced is going to kill you?

That marriage that is hard to stay in, or that spouse that is difficult to love.

That career you've had to give up, or that new job you've had to take.

That leadership position you've been asked to take, or that ministry you are now seeing crumble before you.

That diagnosis you've been given, or that pain someone has inflicted on you.

That loneliness you feel, or that anxiety you have.

That elderly loved one you've been given to care for, or those young children you've been entrusted to raise.

That special needs child you are a parent to, or that barren womb that crushes you every month. 

Do we truly believe that as we face the Red Seas of our lives, that the Lord will do battle for us, and we have only to be silent? 

That like Moses, the only thing we need to do is "stretch out our hands" (v. 21).  To do the simple things we've been asked to do, one step after the other, one foot in front of the other, one yes at a time.

That even in the midst of all our doubt and fear and grumbling, to just obey, to just do it, to face the Red Sea, to stretch out our hands, and allow the Lord to do battle for us.

And not be surprised when the Lord makes us victorious.