In order for my Emma girl to nap during the day, I need to hold her in my arms. This translates into spending anywhere between five to six hours a day in my chair holding her. I try to entertain myself by watching the news, reading a book, or just sitting. I know you may think to yourself: "and what's the problem? I'd kill to have that kind of quiet time."
Believe it or not, sitting with a sleeping child in your arms can be quite draining, mostly because you have the time to think and doubt yourself - doubt the God-given instinct and wonder whether you are doing things correctly or not. I can drive myself insane at times.
Thankfully, the Lord is good to me. Right when I was breaking down today, my friend Jamie stops by: "Lauren, this is what I would do if I were you: hold that baby in your arms and relax! Don't be hard on yourself." About an hour later, Memma stops by and takes over and lets me go out and have some me-time at Starbucks.
While at Starbucks, I find myself longing to spend time with the Lord. I pray (I normally write my prayers) and then write a list of things I love about Emma girl. As I write this long list of things, two of these stand out:
- I love how Emma makes me long for the Lord. I've never felt so in need of Him.
- I love how Emma has humbled me.
The Lord is faithful in answering prayers.
3 comments:
Hi, Lauren,
Thinking of you! I think it is really normal for babies to want to be held in order to sleep. I think society sets inexperienced moms up with unreasonable expectations. (You can only sleep while baby sleeps if you can hold the baby while you're sleeping!) See if you can find a way for some of it to be cuddle time. For awhile we had an afternoon cuddle with Mason lying on my chest and me reclining on the couch. Loved it! Also, it does get easier. Those "catnaps" get further apart as they decide they want to explore the world. Hang in there!
Oh how sweet! I am glad that God sent me over to your house today and that you were encouraged by my simple words. Also, very glad you got a much needed break. So sweet of your Mother-n-law to do that for you. Most importantly, I am thankful that you were able to get in that precious time with the Lord and count your blessings! Love & Hugs! Jamie
yes, I can relate, being a mom has been the most humbling experience in my entire life, Rodrigo reminds me how I need God, and I also have a deeper understanding about how God loves me just because I´m his.
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