When a friend dies...

I am really in a confused state right now. Two and a half hours ago Alison (my sister) called me to tell me that Eduardo Bermudez had died in a car accident yesterday morning on his way from Cancun. I went to the visitation right away to give his parents and brother a hug, and cried a bit.

Even though i had not seen Eduardo for over a year, and we were no longer in touch, the news of his death hurt as if i had seen him just yesterday. You see, Eduardo was like a brother to me in my early teens. When i started going to karate at age 12, i did not know this sport would be such a big part of my life. I suddenly became very involved competing, training, and of course wining :) My closest companion soon became Eduardo since we were close in age and in height. We were sparring partners, and because he was 2 belts ahead of me, he would many times assess me in training, giving me tips on how to do certain things better.

On every tournament trip i went to, he went as well. Along with our karate academy, we went to Puebla, Acapulco, Mexico City, Sonora, and Campeche. I remember on one of the trips, we were all ready to head back to Merida, all of us were nicely showered and cleaned up, our bags were packed an in the bus, and we were all in the terrace area gathering together. Well, somehow i felt the urge to throw him in the pool as i saw him standing right near it. And, well, as you could guess, i went ahead with my urge and threw him. Haha :) I ran as fast as i could towards his parents and hid. I told this story to his mom today and she remembered. But... he finally got his revenge when we were in Sonora a few months later and threw me in the pool :)

I also remember during one of our trips on two different ocations people thought we were siblings. Since we kind of just followed each other around, we would find our selfs arguing about dumb stuff, or just constantly talking. We got such a kick out of it the first time it happened, but then when it happened again, we decided we would start referring to each other as "mi hermanito" and "mi hermanita".

Towards the end of my sophmore year i started to notice that he was getting involved with the "wrong crowd." I would suddenly start hearing of parties he would go to and get drunk, but he would always tell me: "Oh, i was just with my friends, and i really didn't get drunk, they just say that." That next year (my junior year) i went to the States for a year and lost a lot of contact with him. Then when i came back my senior year, things were no longer the same. He was now constantly drinking, partying, etc. I got very very anemic and stopped going to karate as often. Sooner than later, we stopped being constantly together. He had started dating a girl and i met Byron that year.

I saw him a few times after that year, during my summers back from from college in the States when i would start training karate again. Rumors were that he was becoming an alcoholic and in 2005 was expelled temporarily from his college because he had gotten involved in some vandalism.

His death was the fruit of alcohol. His friend and him were driving over the speed limit and drunk from Cancun to Merida. They lost control of their car and it got totaled. Eduardo died a few hours after the accident in the hospital and his friend is still in intensive care.

I find myself very confused by his death. In a way i feel like i could have been a much greater influence to keep him from getting so involved in drinking, but i know that that was not the case. Out of all of his friends, i think i was the only one at that time who did not drink -- peer pressure was much more demanding then. In another way, i feel angry at him and all those people out there who do not realize the consequences of alcohol. Each day it seems like there is a reported death due to alcohol and still, people continue to drive irresponsibly. But then also i feel very hurt. He was like my brother when i was in jr. high, and even though many years have passed since, today it feels as if i had lost a sibling.