Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts

Friday, January 01, 2016

I read 27 books this year, and here are my reviews on them.

Friends, I completed 27 books this year (not including the whole Bible).  Twenty-five of which were non-fiction.  It was a rich year.  I grew, I was challenged, I was encouraged, and I was entertained.  So I decided to dedicate this post to review all of these books in hopes that it would lead a few of you to give some of these a try.  Each book is linked to its location on Amazon.

But before I started with the reviews, I thought I would answer a few of the most common questions I get regarding reading -- 

1.  When do you find time to read?  

I read when I can.  In the morning before the kids get up, during nap time, or in the evening after the kids go to bed.  As a habit, I normally have a book or two next to my reclining chair.  Whenever I am sitting there I will pick up my book and read a few pages at a time.  It's amazing how much reading you can get done if you are patient and consistent.  You don't need hours upon hours to do it.  You just need a habit.

I must also clarify that there are a lot of things I choose not to do that open up my time for reading.  I am not in a Bible study, I don't work outside of the home, I watch very little TV, and I have unfollowed many people on Facebook, which makes scrolling down my News Feed less time-consuming.  I also choose to make reading a priority in my life.

2.  How do you choose the books you read?

As a general rule, I try NOT to purchase any books.  Therefore what I mostly end up reading are books that people either lend me or that I get from the library
Sometimes there will be a good deal on a Kindle book and I will buy and download it to my iPad and read it there.  Other times I will sell my used books I don't care for at 2nd and Charles and get credit to then buy new-to-me books there.  But most of the time I either borrow books or get them from the library.

A word about the library -- use it!  You will need to be patient most of the time, but so worth it.  I have an account that I can manage from home through my computer.  Many books you put on hold will take a  a few days or weeks to arrive, but if you have a few on hold at a time, it normally works out alright.

3.  Have you always been a reader?

No.  As a matter of fact, I remember seven years ago this time of year Byron challenging me to read four books throughout the year.  And well, as they say, the rest is history.  
Fact of the matter is that I enjoy reading.  I have met some of my best friends, some of my greatest mentors, some of my greatest heroes, and some of the my greatest counselors within the pages of books.  In the words of C. S. Lewis -- "We read to know we are not alone."

Reading also makes me multidimensional.  It keeps me from just talking about what I know within the context of my life.  It makes me diverse and able to hold a variety of conversations with different kinds of people.  

And reading continues to educate me.  Just because I am no longer in school does not mean I should stop learning.  

***

And so, without further ado, here are all 27 books I read in 2015 in the order in which they were completed:


 by (various authors)

I saw this one circulating for free early this year, so I thought I'd give it a try.  It was OK.  It's basically a compilation of articles and blog posts written by each of the authors.  Written in response to the "Mommy Wars," which seems to have been fueled by the TIME magazine cover of a young mother nursing her five-ish year old.  The only chapters I remember really liking are the ones written by Rachel Jankovic.  It's a fast and easy read, so give it a try if you're even mildly interested.

by Corrie ten Boom

Absolutely outstanding!  I don't know what else to say other than to encourage you to do yourself a favor and go read it.  NOW!  Yes, stop reading this right now, click on the link above and buy it.  NOW!  You back?  Great!

It is a hard read.  I must confess I suffered severe insomnia while I read it.  I believe the Spirit of God was moving me in incredibly ways during that time.  I walked away a changed person. 

The story of Corrie ten Boom -- a single woman in her 50s, living with her dad and sister.  She expected to spend the rest of her life caring for them, and she was OK with that.  But just when she thought her life had become predictable, WWII happens and with it the ten Booms rise as one of its greatest heroes.

I love Corrie.  I love her words, her heart, her boldness, and her story.

by Shauna Niequist

A fun and easy read.  Not a life-changing book by any means.  A book you can start, put down for a while, then pick up again later.  Short chapters.  She includes a number of her favorite recipes.  Covers topics such as running marathons, miscarriage, infertility, community, sitting around the table with loved ones, being married to someone with celiac disease, etc.

by Anne Ortlund

 I read the book in a day, and gained a lot of insight and wisdom from it.  Anne is bold and unafraid to say things the way she believes they should be, and does this un-apologetically.  She is a godly woman, so everything she says is filtered through that profound love she has for the Lord.

by Jen Wilkin

Great read.  I also read it in a day.  A book that put into words many of the things the Lord had been teaching me recently in response to reading the whole Bible and enjoying his Word.

I quote this book all the time.  My most favorite is --

"The heart cannot love what the mind does not know."

This book taught me a lot about how to study the Bible.  It taught me to allow Scripture to interpret Scripture (instead of always going straight to commentaries).  It taught me how to do inductive Bible study on my own.  It taught me to stay away from certain "fads" that exist within the Christian community regarding Bible study.  All in all, a rich and equipping book.

by Myquillyn Smith

This was probably the book that influenced me the most practically.  I actually believe that it came as an answer to prayer.  We were in the final stages of deciding whether or not we would buy the 3x larger home that we are in now, and I felt incredibly overwhelmed by the size of this house, wondering how I could ever decorate and make this house our home on a limited budget.  And then comes The Nesting Place.  Myquillyn gave me the confidence to just do things around the house... that they don't have to be perfect to be beautiful.  That I may just already have all that I need to decorate my home, and don't need to go out somewhere and spend 5K to make my house beautiful.

She refined my thrift shopping skills, taught me to paint furniture, and to randomly put things together on display around the house, even if "the experts" may not agree with my style.  She gave me the needed spark I lacked to spend time on Pinterest learning tips on how to arrange bookcases, design gallery walls, and paint mason jars as decoration.

The Burden of being Champ:  The Dropout, the Legend, the Pediatrician
by Dr. Jerry Miller, Jr.

This was a sweet book for me to read.  Dr. Miller is a dear friend to the family I married into, and was Byron's pediatrician growing up.  We now have the privilege of calling him our very own family pediatrician, and our children love him dearly.

Through this book, Dr. Miller walks you through his childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, medical school, residency, medical practice, and family life.  What I loved the most of this book was seeing the Lord's faithfulness in his life.  How the Lord took a simple man, with a simple life, and a simple family, and made a Name for Himself through him.  The middle part of the book, where he talks about his medical training and practice, brought tears to my eyes in just about every chapter.

The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness:  The Path to True Christian Joy
by Tim Keller

This was a short, sweet, and to-the-point book (and super cheap!).  I love how Tim Keller's mind operates, so pretty much anything by him is mind-blowing to me.

If you, like me, are constantly seeking the expansion of your own kingdom instead of the Lord's Kingdom, then this book is for you. 

Radical Purity:  Simple Steps to Protect a Pure Lifestyle
by David Edwards 

This book was awful, and the only reason why I read it completely was because my sister gave it to me (she knows this, so I am not afraid to shout this to the four winds).  It is after reading this book that I realized I would much rather read a secular book, than a religious/"Christian" book I disagree with.

There was nothing grand about this book.  One of those books I feel I could have written myself in middle school.  There were grammatical errors, which drive me nuts!  (I have no perfect grammar myself, never mind that most of my formal education took place in a different country and in a different language, but my humble opinion is that if you are going to go through the trouble of being formally published, then you need to make sure your grammar is correct).

When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor... and Yourself
by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert

 With Byron as the Mercy Chair and deacon at church, the question of how to best help those in need was often a topic of discussion.  This book came highly recommended, and I believe it gave me a deeper (and newer?) perspective of how best deal this.

One of my favorite chapters in this book was the one on short term missions.  As someone who grew up in an often short-term-mission-trip visited region of the world, I always struggled with the idea of this.  I think that as Americans we need to reevaluate the purpose and ways in which these trips are done, and I believe this book did a good job at addressing this.

War of Words: Getting to the Heart of your Communication Struggles
by Paul Tripp

Byron had for years been encouraging me to read this book, and finally got around to it when a friend just gave it to me.  I enjoyed the book.  It wasn't necessarily and "easy read," but very insightful.

This book taught me about the weight and long-term effect our words can have on other people.  This book not only encouraged me to be wise with the use of them, but it also taught me how to process hurtful words that have been said against me.

The Legacy Journey: A Radical View of Wealth and Generosity
by Dave Ramsey

America should be thankful for Dave Ramsey.  He has done a great job educating us on managing well our money.  I love his quote "to live like no one else, so you can later live AND give like no one else."  I love that he is an outspoken Christian, and respected inside and outside of Christian circles.  A man of integrity.

My only pickle with DR is that he goes around claiming that "his way" of handling money is "God's way."  I see no detailed "Baby Steps" anywhere in the Bible, and the fact that he so boldly claims this drives me nuts.  He is also a bit of a jerk.

This book was an easy, quick read.  A few things were over my head, and truth be told, I didn't actually put anything into practice (yet) that this book suggests.  Wills, retirements plans, etc.  It did, however, plant a seed in my mind about thinking far ahead into my future.  Thinking not only about our retirement, but of what kinds of things we need to be doing now in order to help our children graduate from college debt-free, and leave an inheritance to our children's children.

Prayer:  Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God
by Tim Keller

This was another one of those life-changing books I read this year.  I love Tim Keller.  I love his mind.  I like to think that if I were a little more educated (and experienced), my mind would work like his.  I find myself reading his books and saying:  "Yes... you read my mind.  I was just unable to put it into words.  Thank you!"

Not all of his books are easy to read, and I would say that this one was one of the "harder" ones.  I took me a little longer than I would have liked it to, but the insight was rich and powerful.  My understanding of prayer was transformed for the best, and my prayer life was enriched because of it.

Sarah's Key
by Tatiana de Rosnay

Meh.  This was only one of two fiction books I read all year, and it was... meh.  Poor writing, bad story line, predictable, terrible character development... you get the point.  But this may just be my own personal and weird opinion, because the Amazon reviews are great, which is why I picked it up.

Why did I even continue reading it?  Because of the historical background in which it took place, which was actually very interesting.  It's about the French police's participation in the Jewish roundup during WWII, better known as the Vel’ d’Hiv’ Roundup.  Sad and terrible event.  What was unique of this roundup compared to other Jewish roundups throughout Europe was that parents and children were separated, which was an even more tragic thing to happen in the midst of such evil.

Messy Spirituality:  God's Annoying Love for Imperfect People
by Mike Yaconelli

I picked this book up because it had been recommended by a pastor I respect.

I didn't like it.  Something about excusing our sinful behavior and lack of Spiritual discipline just rubbed me the wrong way.  Now don't get me wrong.  I'm not claiming here to be a super awesome spiritual person who has it all together... far from it, but I don't go around excusing it by saying:  "well... but I love Jesus, so all is good."

I was actually greatly comforted when The Gospel Coalition came out with an article that addressed and condoned this recent trend, and Messy Spirituality was among the books it brought up as an example of this trend.

To be honest, I believe the author is just misunderstood within his pages.  He died a premature and tragic death, and I like to think that he would have clarified himself in another book had he had the time.  I'm choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Evidence Not Seen:  A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of WWII
by Darlene Deibler Rose

This was a sweet, sweet book to read, yet hard at the same time.  Anything that brings you in close contact to the cruelty and tragedy of WWII is going to be hard to process.  But somehow, while still tragic, the story of Darlene as a prisoner of war is an encouraging one.

By the end of the book, no doubt is left that the Lord is good.  Good, even after you've lost everything.  To be able to turn to Him who allowed all this ugliness to happen in your life and see how much sweeter he has become because of it (not in spite of it).

Darlene is officially one of my personal heroes.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert:  An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith
by Rosaria Butterfield

This was a quick, easy, and insightful read.  Rosaria is a not only a former LGBT advocate, but a former active lesbian as well.  Through these pages, Rosaria describes her train-wreck conversion (as she refers to it) into Christ's arms.  It becomes quite evident that when the Lord called her to himself, she had no other place to go buy to him, even if it meant leaving all her dreams and accomplishments behind, never mind the only lifestyle and community she knew of.

But though she is best known for her conversion, what I loved the most in reading her words was her love for people.  She has great insight regarding hospitality, mercy work, church, adoption, foster care, etc.

It was through her words in this book that I came to learn that to leave everything for Christ does not always necessarily mean leaving them physically (like we will often think of missionaries doing).  Through her writing I came to understand that to carry our cross to follow Christ is often much more complex than that -- it means leaving dreams, and hopes, and security of life behind.  And I believe that much freedom comes in that.

Washed and Waiting:  Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality
by Wesley Hill

Absolutely excellent book.  Easy to read.  Insightful.  But what I loved the most was that though it's written by a celibate gay Christian, who specifically addresses his personal struggles in choosing to remain celibate, is that his struggles resonated very much with mine.

The besetting sins that I've been given to struggle with are not ones of homosexuality, but before the eyes of God they are just as offensive to him.  So how do I live a faithful life for the Lord in the midst of these sins?  Wesley's struggles in this were of great comfort to me.  It's hard.  And it may even seem unfair at times.  And lonely.  But that still does not mean that we are given permission to act on these besetting sins that don't seem to leave us alone.

Through these pages I learned that just because I have a strong inclination to do something (maybe one I feel I have very little control over), does not mean I am allowed to indulge in it.

When I Lay my Isaac Down:  Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances
by Carol Kent

This was a sweet book to read.  One that I often think back to when "things are not going my way."  Carol beautifully tells the story of her only child committing murder and being sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of ever being released.

The question asked is:  What does it mean when God asks you to lay down your hopes and dreams?  What if God does not give you an option in doing so?  What if marriage becomes hard, a husband cheats on you, your child/loved one becomes sick, or dies, or you loose a job, or you suffer a miscarriage, or...?

What if God asks you to lay your Isaac down?

Is he still good?  Can he still be trusted?  Is there hope?

For the Love:  Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards
by Jen Hatmaker

 This was a fun, funny, and easy book to read.  I often found myself laughing out loud while reading it.  And though I often have strong opinions about people getting "all theological" in their writing without having any basis for what they are saying, Jen was able to do this without being too obnoxious.

I thought she made some excellent points related to marriage, child rearing, community, and short term mission trips (have I mentioned how I have a little soap box regarding short term mission trips???).

She is Mine:  A War Orphans' Incredible Journey of Survival
 by Stephanie Fast

Oh me, oh my, oh mo...  Was this ever a hard book to read.  Long story short, it's about a girl abandoned at the age of four.  And when you have a little girl of your own that age, it becomes every bit more painful.  Her story of survival up until the point when she is eventually rescued is hard, but worse of all, as the author often mentions, it is NOT an uncommon story.

Stephanie, through her story, exposes the reader to what almost all street children live through in order to survive.  You cannot read that book and not be changed for the best.

By the grace of God, and against all odds, Stephanie is miraculously rescued and eventually adopted.  She closes her book by saying that she can honestly say that there is nothing in her life that she would have been better off without.

How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie

Early this Fall I began helping coordinate the ministry of MOPS at our church.  This leadership role had me overseeing about a dozen other leaders "under me," and though I was familiar with the ministry and its purpose, I quickly realized I had very little training (and experience) with leading a team of leaders.  And so I decided that I must begin training myself to do this.

This book was highly recommended to me, and I must say that it was an excellent start to this informal training I was undergoing.  But the book's history speaks for itself -- it was written in the 1930s, and almost a century later it is still in print.

But this book is not only great for people who are in leadership positions, it is also great for anyone who ever deals with people.  I would say it has influenced the way I relate to my husband, family, friends, and even strangers.

Short and easy chapters.  To the point.  Great advice.  Do yourself a favor and read it.

Word-Filled Women's Ministry:  Loving and Serving the Church
by various authors, including Kathleen Nielson and Gloria Furman

I picked up this book for two reasons:  1.  Because I wanted some guidance and further training in helping lead a women's ministry (see above review ^), and 2.  Because our church was going to have a book discussion on this book and I wanted to have it read by then.

It was good.  Some chapters were harder to read than others.  It covered a lot of terrain.  I enjoyed the chapter on mentorship, and also appreciated the book's emphasis on focusing women's ministry on the Word of God, and then allow all other aspects of this ministry to flow in response to this.

The Pursuit of Holiness
by Jerry Bridges

Excellent book.  Bold, true, and to the point.  Great read for anyone who has ever wondered what the balance between God's doing and our doing is in our pursuit of holiness.

Can I achieve holiness on my own?  Do I need God?  Where does God fit into this?  Is holiness even something I need to be striving for?  Doesn't God just take me in as his own based solely on the blood of Jesus and his death on the cross?

This book will convict you, and Lord willing, you will be different because of it.

Created for Commitment:  The Remarkable Story of the Founder of Bible Study Fellowship
by A. Wetherell Johnson

I loved this book.  It was not a page turner by any means, but I loved Wetherell's story.  I loved watching how the Lord used this simple, single woman, who's heart was submitted to the Lord, to do great things for his Kingdom. 

Her story begins as a little girl, brought up in a strong Christian home.  Becomes an agnostic at some point, then returns to the Lord.  Is a prisoner of war while in China during the WWII for three years.  Has a deep love for the pagans.  Senses her calling to reach out to them.  But the Lord says no to that desire.

This moment in her story reminds me of something the Lord has taught me throughout this year, and that is that just because I desire something good (in the case of Wetherell, to bring the Gospel to the pagans), it does not necessarilly mean that that's what the Lord wants for my life.

Yet... as Wetherell submits to the Lord, he leads her to fund one of the most remarkable Bible Studies of all times.  A Bible Study that has reached the ends of the Earth and has trained and equipped those who now have the chance to reach the pagans throughout the world with the Gospel. 

A Slow and Certain Light:  Thoughts on the Guidance of God
by Elisabeth Elliot

This out-of-print book was recommended to me by a lady at our church.  I read it quickly and enjoyed it.  If you know anything about Elisabeth Elliot, you know that she is that she is a no-nonsense lady, and I appreciate that.

I felt the book had some parts that I either did not understand or were not necessary, but she made some excellent points and suggestions about how to understand God's leading in our lives.  It is in this book where her famous "just do the next thing" quote comes from.  Basically, when in doubt, just do the next thing and the Lord will reveal himself and his will to you.

Harry Potter and the Sorcere's Stone
by J. K. Rowling

After having read 26 books this year, only one of which was fiction, I decided I wanted to do some lighter reading to welcome this new year.  And so I decided I would re-read the Harry Potter series throughout 2016.

I still plan on doing some dense non-fiction reading this coming year, but with a baby around the corner, I wanted something I could easily pick up and put down (and enjoy!) during those long home-bound days that await me.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

WHY-Wednesday: Why I'm really not all that awesome.

One Saturday afternoon last summer, a friend and I were reflecting on a well-concluded year in the ministry of MOPS.  I was on a high.  I had led ten young moms through discussion, playdates, nights outs, friendships for an entire year, and results were there.  I had perfect attendance for most of the weeks of the second semester.  Great relationships had been built.  We had completed a parenting book together outside of our meetings.  I was the go-to person many of these mamas went to when they had questions.  Three of them were joining the leadership team the following year.  I would be lying if I didn't say I was patting myself on the back quite nicely.  I had been pretty awesome that year.

During that Saturday afternoon, I asked my friend:  "If the Lord has given me such talents [the gift of being plain ol' awesome], where does God fit in after the gift has already been given?  After all, it was I who led these women.  It was I the one brought them together and encouraged them and helped them thrive."  I was basically saying -- how lucky of the Lord to have me.

The question was left in the air.  My friend may have said something wise or true.  Something to correct me, maybe.  But I was too wrapped up in my own self-centerness and awesomeness to pay any attention.

This moment was the beginning of a (so far) year-long story, during which the Lord began to tear me down.  

"If you think I [the Lord] am a small god that you can keep at safe distance, I will pounce upon you like a roaring lion, tear you to pieces, rip you to shreds, and break every bone in your body.  Then I will mend you, cradle you in my arms, and kiss you tenderly" -- Brennan Manning.

And such is my story.

Depression.

Tears.

Attacks by man.

Doubting.

And a whole lot of man-fearing.  

Irony would have it that my following year serving as a table leader in MOPS was not as awesome as my previous year.  So I began panicking and asking myself:  "What am I doing wrong, what do I need to improve, who can I blame for this?"  I'm ashamed to admit that this line of thinking lasted for the majority of the year, before the Lord in his kindness spoke to my heart:  "It's not you, it's never been you doing any of this."  Then Deuteronomy 8:17,18 comes knocking on my door:  

"You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.'  But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today."

Aaaahhhh...  "it is he who gives you the ability..."

You mean to say, Lord, that everything good that I do does not come from within me, but from within you?

I've known this truth in my mind for years...  

But could it be that I now understand it in my heart as well?

Could it be that my self-centerness and arrogance and pride are the very things the Lord continues to allow me to struggle with, so that I would be reminded of my inability to meet God's standard of perfection, and thus falling on my knees time and time again, asking the Lord to forgive me and to hurry back?

Could it be that the Lord does not accomplish his work because of me, but in spite of me?

Could it be that I'm really not all that awesome?

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Little Byron

Little Byron is all boy.  He loves balls, and trucks, and cars, and planes, and helicopters, and Lighting McQueen.  And he loves sharks, and dinosaurs, and birds, and monkeys, and bears, and dogs.

He is also a rough boy.  Tackling, hitting, wrestling, falling, bumping his head, and picking his nose.

But my little boy is also very much a "daddy""--


(^) Feeding one of Emma's bears some breakfast this morning (^)

He loves "babies," so much so that he enjoys playing with Emma's doll.  He also likes to "cook" in Emma's kitchen.  He is EXTREEEEMELYYYY polite, saying "please" and "thank you" over just about anything.  He is quick to say sorry after he's been in time out ("pat pat" he says).  He says "scuse me" when he needs to get by you.  He loves to kiss and be kissed.  Loves to point out everybody's tuch (belly button).  He is very emotional, and gets his feelings hurt easily.  He loves to read and be read to.  He feels absolutely lost without his big sister.

Thankful for this boy.  I pray he would always love and enjoy the Lord whole-heartedly.  A man who is all man, yet all nurture and kindness.  I wonder how this little (almost) two year-old personality will look like in 20 years.   

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

WHY-Wednesday: Why there is more to friendships than just the desire to have them.

In his book The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller says that there needs to be more to a friendship than just the desire to have one.  For a friendship to be born and flourish, there has to be something in common between the two parties.  A love for books, a love for the outdoors, a love for running, etc.

But how do you bridge the gap between talking about the weather (or your child's inability to eat vegetables) to something much more relevant? How do you jump from a simple friendship to a David-Jonathan-like relationship?

I am by no means an expert on friendships, other than what I've recently noticed in the Bible, and how it has been proven to be true in my own life.  But here are three things I noted this past week while reading through 1 Samuel and part of 2 Samuel regarding David and Jonathan's friendship, and how it may be possibly applied to friendships today.  

1.  In 1 Samuel 18:1 it says that "Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." A key element in a David-Jonathan-like relationship should be that there is a similar spirit between the two.  But I believe there is something more -- you will never experience a friendship's full potential unless the two parties involved have the same spirit in the Lord.

I have found this to be true in my life.  For example, a friend and I have been having an ongoing discussion about Covenant Baptism over the past two weeks.  No matter where we are at, whether we have three minutes or one hour, we have this deep conversation about something incredibly profound.  BAM!  Straight to the meat.  No small talk, no weather talking, no nothing.  Meat, my friends.  And isn't meat all that we are all longing for?

2.  Secondly, a David-Jonathan-like relationship must be one that helps you find strength in the Lord.  In 1 Samuel 23:16 it says:  "And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God."

This passage makes me want to weep.  Partly because I see the truth and wisdom in it, and partly because I have once again found it to be true in my life.

Last week at around 7 AM one morning, after I had wrapped up my Bible-reading for the day, I glanced at my phone and saw a text from a dear friend with this caption:  "thank you for being a Jonathan to me!" with this picture (she is also reading through the Bible with me) --



I was moved by her message, partly because I felt honored and privileged, but also because it's true -- those who point you to Christ and help you find strength in Him are by definition David-Jonathan-like friends. 

3.  And lastly, a David-Jonathan-like relationship is unique and different than the relationship you may have with your spouse.  In 2 Samuel 1:26, after David learns of Jonathan's death, he says:  "I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me.  Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

I must confess that this verse werids me out a little.  But if I put myself in David's shoes, it makes sense.  David had two wives at that time.  My guess would be that he didn't do much relating to any of his wives other than relating with them sexually.  Instead, Jonathan was a friend to him when his wives were not.

I may be stretching this verse a little, but when I read this verse I read comfort for my soul.  I hear the Lord telling me that it is OK for my same-sex friends to meet the needs my husband is not able to meet.  That it is OK for my husband NOT to be my "everything" socially.  And that it is OK to not feel guilty about it.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

WHY-Wednesday: Why I'm not messing up my kids.

I'm going to start this post by saying that I actually do think I'm messing up my kids.  Just this morning, Emma and I butted heads during breakfast time.  She wanted a big peanut butter sandwich, yet I knew she would not eat it.  After lots (lots!) of whining, a time out, and lots of patient explaining on my part that she would not want to eat it, I gave in.  I made her the sandwich.  Let's just not fight that fight today, okay?  Sure enough, the sandwich just laid there, untouched.  I tried to encourage her take at least one bite, but it did not happen.  So I let that one slip by.

Less than three hours later, in the gym's parking lot, while getting back into the car seats, she asked for her milk.  I kindly informed her that there was no more milk.  That she had drank it all gone.  She then proceeded to yell "Noooooo!!!!" with such rudeness and intensity, that the average witness would have agreed that the incident deserved at least a spanking.  But no, I just let that one slip by.  Again.

Tedd Tripp is probably shaking his head in disapproval, wondering how it was that I let this wonderful chance to address my child's heart slip by.  And Dr. James Dobson is probably enlisting all the long-term consequences I'll be facing with Emma when she hits the teenage years.

But the truth is, I almost never have the energy.  And most days I'm just plain ol' confused.  

Am I supposed to spank?  Give a time out?  Have the child recreate the behavior?  Ignore it all together?

Are they supposed to take one nap?  Two naps?  No nap at all?

Are they supposed to be home-schooled?  Private-schooled?  Public-schooled?

Are they supposed to take dance classes?  Be on a soccer team?

Are they supposed to be read to from the day they are born?  Placed in music classes before they can sit up?

Are they supposed to be breastfed till they're six months?  Till they're one?  Till they're three?

Will the world end if I choose to bottle feed instead?

Is there a right answer?  Does it  even matter?

AM I MESSING UP MY KIDS???????
 
I think a better question to this is:  Does God even need me?  Am I doing Him a favor by being a wonderfully educated and discerning parent?

And the uncomfortable short answer is:  No, God does not need me.  He does not need me to raise His children.  He has lent them to me and He has entrusted them to me, but He does not need me.

He uses me, yes, that's for sure.  But He does not need me.

This became painfully evident to me this past week while I continued to inch my way through the Old Testament.  In Numbers 20 we see Moses and Aaron get punished by the Lord for not trusting Him.  They are told that because of their disobedience, they would not enter the Promised Land.

Did the Lord use Moses and Aaron?  Yes.  The the Lord use Moses and Aaron in a great way?  ABSOLUTELY!  Did the Lord need them?  No.

In fact, they are replaced so fast, it leaves our heads spinning.  Just a few verses later, Aaron is replaced by his son Eleazar, and Moses is soon replaced by Joshua son of Nun.

So where does that leave us?  Are we supposed to throw our hands up in the air and just sit the kids in front of the TV all day?  And once again, the uncomfortable answer is... yes we can.  But do we want to?  Do we really want to miss out on being a part of God's Great Story?  Do we want to be replaced by a teacher, or a mentor, or a grandparent?  Because you know what?  If those little ones are His, He will use someone else to do His work for you.

Ouch.

So bring the stress level down a notch.  Relax.  And when tension and confusion creep up, remember that the Lord is using you to raise His children, but He does not need you

Instead be like the boy in John 6, who with his meager offering of two fish and five loaves of bread (all that he had), Jesus was able to feed five thousand.

If you'd been in my head this morning, you would have heard me praying:  "Lord, I have no clue what I'm doing.  I've done my homework.  I've read the books.  Yet I have no idea what I'm doing.  But this is what I have:  I have two fish and five loaves, a poor offering, but I know that in Your hands it'll be multiplied and used greatly."

And friends, if you'll allow me to still be humble while I say this-- it's because of this that I'm certain I'm not messing up my kids.

(A few acknowledgements to this post:  The title for this entry was borrowed (without permission, btw) from Lysa TerKeurst's book Am I Messing Up My Kids?  I actually began reading this book, and 40 pages into it I decided I did not like it.  But the title of her book was pretty awesome, so I borrowed it.  The second acknowledgement is that the connection of the boy from John 6 with parenting was not drawn by myself.  I have borrowed it from Rachel Jankovic's chapter in the book Mom Enough).

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

WHY-Wednesday: Why "you need only to be silent"


The account of Moses and the Crossing of the Red Sea.  One of the most iconic Old Testament stories, and one I have personally read through dozens of times.

Israel flees Egypt.  Egypt  chases after them.  Israel hits the sea shore.  Israel begins to complain to Moses.  Moses splits the sea.  Israel crosses undamaged.  Egypt not so much.

THE END.

Or is it?

The account of Moses and the Crossing of the Red Sea has little impact on our lives if we only allow it to be a good moral story of trust and obedience.

So join me as we take a closer (and more personal) look into this powerful scene in God's Redemptive Story.

By the time the exodus takes place, Israel had been living in Egypt for more than 400 years.  They were enslaved by the Egyptians and mistreated for the majority of their time there.

But Israel belongs to the Lord.  They are His chosen people.  They are the apple of His eye.

So He frees them.

And they leave Egypt.  For good.

But Egypt goes chasing after them, and the Israelites hit the Red Sea.  They're trapped, with no way out, and are as good as dead, right?

Read what happens next (Exodus 14:13-14, ESV):
"Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today... The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

The NIV says:  "and you have only to be still."

Then for the remainder of the chapter we see the Israelites stand on the sidelines and watch the Lord do battle for them--

-  The angel of God... withdrew and went behind them.  The pillar of cloud also moved... behind them (v. 19)
-  The Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land (v. 21)
-  The Lord looked down... at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion (v. 24)
-  He jammed the wheels of their chariots so that they had difficulty driving (v. 25)
-  The Lord swept them into the sea (v. 27).
-  Not one of them survived (v. 28)

... not one of them survived.

What is your Red Sea?  That seemingly impossible situation that the Lord has led you to and are convinced is going to kill you?

That marriage that is hard to stay in, or that spouse that is difficult to love.

That career you've had to give up, or that new job you've had to take.

That leadership position you've been asked to take, or that ministry you are now seeing crumble before you.

That diagnosis you've been given, or that pain someone has inflicted on you.

That loneliness you feel, or that anxiety you have.

That elderly loved one you've been given to care for, or those young children you've been entrusted to raise.

That special needs child you are a parent to, or that barren womb that crushes you every month. 

Do we truly believe that as we face the Red Seas of our lives, that the Lord will do battle for us, and we have only to be silent

That like Moses, the only thing we need to do is "stretch out our hands" (v. 21).  To do the simple things we've been asked to do, one step after the other, one foot in front of the other, one yes at a time.

That even in the midst of all our doubt and fear and grumbling, to just obey, to just do it, to face the Red Sea, to stretch out our hands, and allow the Lord to do battle for us.

And not be surprised when the Lord makes us victorious.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

2014 in review

2014... you were good to me.  

On December 31st, Byron and I laid in bed reflecting on the year, and I couldn't help but feel moisture in my eyes.  You were good to me, 2014.  

A few landmarks to our year--

* What began as an act of desperation, turned into the most revolutionary thing I'd ever done.  I began waking up at 6 AM (before my kids) every morning to read my Bible and spend time in the presence of the Lord.  I finally understood what people meant when they said God "spoke to them."  My year was filled with sweet conversations with the Him.  My time with the Lord was not so I could "then have a good day," it was simply the highlight of it.  As I tell people all the time: "after 7 AM, it is all downhill from there."

*  I also started, and finished, reading through the Bible in 2014.  What a journey that was!  (This is also a habit I plan on continuing for the rest of my life).

*  Sometime during the Spring, Byron (for the lack of a better word) 'lost' his job.  As the sole provider to our family, this was a very difficult journey for our little family.  Without going into too many details, I clearly remember the night, after about the nth argument over this situation, Byron told me:  "you need to trust me."  And that was that.  The Lord calls me to "submit to my husband" and to "submit to the Lord."  I submit to the Lord by submitting to my husband.  And what does He promise?  "To make our paths straight" (Proverbs 3:6).  I'll be clinging to that promise, if you don't mind.

* Fast forward a few months, and Byron is asked to join the family business.  BIG move for the hubby.  He leaves his career behind and goes into 'sales.'

* With the 'job situation' as a motivator, I finally took the plunge and began advertising myself as a private math tutor.  In June I had my first student, and since then I've had four others to worked with.  I've loved going back to my 'school-loving' roots, and brush up on my math skills.  I've also loved making 'good money' with it (which, of course, always comes as a perk).

*  The year also brought three 'deep wounds.'  One in the form of great distress and anxiety as I learned to adjust to life as a mother of two.  The second was a 'mild depression' that took place during the summer.  And the third came in the form of a 'hate event' that took place in the Fall.  It wasn't until I came across the song Blessings by Laura Story in December that I learned that all three of these 'wounds' were simply "mercies in disguise." 

*  I turned 30 years old and got my first smart phone.  All very mundane, but exciting none the less.


A sweet friend of mine (who is a professional wedding cake maker) gifted me with this (^) awesome cake to celebrate my special day.  I had a little party that I had long been anticipating, and was joined with about a dozen friend-couples, plus family.

*  I am not sure on the exact number, but I believe I read about 25 books this year.  My favorites:

Stepping Heavenward by Mrs. Prentiss
Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller
The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller
Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung
Trend Breakers by Kelly Westerfield 
Fit to Burst by Rachel Jankovich

* Sometime during the summer, I officially gave up leisure TV.  Nothing to get overly dramatic about, I simply decided that there were other things that were better worth my time (this is also how I probably got 25 books in).  I'll still watch some Downton Abbey, and a few TV shows or movies to spend some shoulder-to-shoulder time with the hubby, but that's about it.

*  We also began Bible verse memorization with Emma.  We used these cards.  We are now on the 'W verse,' and am blown away by the amount of Truth that we have stored not only in Emma's heart and mind, but in ours as well.

*  And finally, when the school year rolled around, I signed both kids up to their first Pre-K program, where they attend once a week for four hours in the morning.  This seems like such an obvious thing to do for most people, but for me it was a difficult decision to make, but one that I am so glad I did.  We've dearly enjoyed the school and their teachers.  I've enjoyed my mornings off where I refuse to do "anything that I have to," but instead use that time to do "anything that I want to."


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

WHY-Wednesday: Why you should grieve well.

In lieu of the approaching Halloween/Day of the Dead, I thought I would use this platform to address some things I believe need to be made known to those who have never lost someone near to them.

The questions always seem to be-- 
How do I grieve with someone who has just lost someone close to them?  Do I talk about the deceased person?  Do I ask how they are doing?  Should I be cheerful?  Sad?  Not talk about it at all?

Without going into too much detail, this is my story--


My father passed away when I was 23 years old.  He had battled Multiple Sclerosis for 22 years, and eventually passed away from secondary effects of it.  He was 51 years old.

I remember the day the doctor came into his hospital room (after we had been there for about three weeks already) and told us that there was nothing else they could do for him.  His time had come.  

He passed away in the hospital bed, only five months after Byron and I had gotten married.

We had our visitation and then burial soon after.  Family and friends came and grieved with us, all for which I was very grateful.

But something very interesting happened right after--
Nobody ever brought him up again.

It's as if they were afraid.

To have people overlook this pain was the second most hurtful experience I had gone through (second only to my dad's passing).

I know they did not cause the hurt on purpose.  They weren't keeping quiet in order to cause me more grief.
They were doing it out of love.  But I wasn't feeling loved.

So the question is--
How can you grieve well with a friend who has just lost someone?

(Disclaimer-- these thoughts are based only on my personal and first-hand experience).

1.  Talk to your friend about their loss.  Ask them how they are doing.  It doesn't matter if it's been a week or years after their loss, just ask.  Tell them you are still thinking and praying for them.  Ask them to share memories.  If you knew the person who passed away, share a few of your own memories with them.  Know that every time you talk to them about their loss, they grieve a little more, and this is very important for them to do.  Some tears may be shed, but that's okay.

2.  Know that to remember is to live againWhen you talk about the deceased loved one, you are bringing him back to life!  This is a very sweet thing to get to do.  

I was at the dinner table with a family the other evening who I had never met before.  We started talking about life, and the topic of my dad came up.  I got to share a little bit about him and of what he was like.  I started to tear up.  I started to miss him.  But oh! what a sweet gift this family gave me.  I got to bring my dad back to this life!

3.  Don't freak out if your friend begins to tear up or cry.  This is okay.  This won't always happen, but please do not think things have gone south if your friend gets sad and teary.

4.  Do a little something on some anniversary of the deceased.  This can be on their Loved One's birthday, wedding anniversary (if spouse), or death anniversary.  It can be as simple as a phone text, an email or a phone call.  If you want to "step it up" a little, send them a hand-written note or a small gift that lets them know you are thinking and praying for them.  Something that lets them know you have not forgotten. 

5.  Restrain yourself from doing any talking or grief-sharing of your own.  My sister shares the story of when she returned back to school after our dad had passed away.  She told her roommate about her loss, and in an attempt to empathize with my sister, the roommate began telling her of her own experience in loosing her grandfather.  Next thing my sister knew, her friend was crying and now she was the one doing the consoling, not the other way around. 

Keep your stories to yourself.  Stay quiet.  Just be there.

6.  Keep their memory alive.  I've already allured to this and have brought it up plenty of times, but I cannot stress this enough.  Keep them alive!


Wednesday, October 08, 2014

WHY-Wednesday: Why I barely wash my kids' hands.



That's right.  I'm winning no Mother of the Year trophy here.

I hardly ever wash my kids' hands.

My children are only one step away from eating straight off the floor.
If they are lucky, they'll get wiped down with a damp rag and some soap right before a meal.
If they are lucky.

(Yes, yes... I will wash their hands (and mine!) after they use the toilet.  No need to panic here.)

There is a little game I like to play in my mind called "Watch That Large Family Over There."  
It consists in paying close attention to large in size (as in four or more children) families.

Large families are an amazing gift to me.  They reveal to me what is ultimately important.
You see, they have so much going on, they have to prioritize in order to survive.

They don't run around carrying six different diaper bags.
They don't freak out when their babies miss a nap.
They go to Sunday night church.
They have family movie nights and stay up late watching TV with them.
Their kids play with the iPad/iPhone while they go grocery shopping.
They don't stress over unclean hands.


A second thought--

MOST people in the world live in extreme poverty.
Extreme poverty.
As in they-live-in-dirt-houses-with-dirt-floors-and-with-no-toilets kind of poverty.
This is the vast majority of the world, people.

Please realize that a(n) (almost) germ-free life is a luxury.
Maybe privilege would be a better word.  Right up there with education... maybe.

Does this mean that because so many people all around the world don't have running water, that we should scarcely wash our own hands?
No, but it does remind us that it probably isn't that big of a deal.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

WHY-Wednesday: Why I completed my Masters degree.

For most of you who know me personally, you know that a little over a year ago I completed my Masters degree in Education.  You probably also know that unless something tragic or unexpected ever happens to us, I do not plan on ever returning to the classroom. 

A little background--

I am a Math teacher by trade.  I left the classroom after four years of teaching to become a full-time stay-at-home mom.  Though teaching wasn't always perfect, I do often times miss my career and the empowerment attached to being good at it.  

But the Lord had different plans, and early in my working career He made it very clear to me that I was to give up my paycheck in order to pretend to know what I was doing by caring for my family at home.

So teaching-year number four rolls around and the time to (ahem...) try to get pregnant rolls around as well.  

If you know anything about how a teacher's salary works, you know that your salary can just about double depending on your years of experience and your level of education.  So since we didn't know whether we'd get pregnant right away or not, I began to work towards my Masters degree "just in case."

Lo and behold, we get pregnant with Emma just in time to wrap up my fourth year of teaching and with half of my Masters degree required credits completed.  

What's a girl to do?  
I know I'll never return to the classroom.
But, OH! how I hate to see those credits wasted...

Emma turns one, and thanks to my husband's kindness, the helping hands of family members, and some savings, I decide to go back and complete it.

It's now or never! -- I said. 

So back to the original question...
WHY?

You see, I'm one to believe that an education opens doors, not closes them.

Let me explain--

I meet many people who feel that because they have a career, because they've done the whole school-thing, that they must do what they were trained to do.  That it would be a waste of time and resources to do otherwise.

I don't know about you, but that doesn't make much sense to me.

My higher education provides me with the opportunity to go back to work if I want to, but does not force me into that option.

(Note:  If you are in debt because of your training - or have any kind of debt, for that matter-, and this career will provide you with the fastest way to pay it off, then well... I guess you really don't have an option after all).

My point is-- 
Given the option, never choose your career simply because you feel you have to.

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

WHY-Wednesday: Why we don't own a deep freezer.

(Update on September 20, 2014-- I got a smart phone last week, and did not realize that the pictures on it where linked to my blog's pictures.  I began deleting a whole bunch of them, including the ones that were on this post.  You can still read the post and "learn" from it, and if you are absolutely in dyer need of seeing what's in my freezer, you can come on over anytime :) )

A friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago via Facebook if I had a deep freezer.  With all my chicken stock, and meat-freezing, where do I have room for everything?  

You must have a deep freezer! -- she assumed.

Well... truth be told-- I would love to have one, but don't.

We don't have room for one, they bring up the power bill, and the hubby is afraid I'll be storing 15-year old dinner casseroles, then serving him some.

So how do I do it?
How do I manage to successfully store everything in the one I have?

Let's take a peek at my freezer and see if we can answer these questions.

My lovely freezer as-is.  Nothing polished, nothing added, nothing (obviously) organized.


Nuts.


Bread scraps.


Butter.


All my whole wheat bread-making ingredients.
Which reminds me... I haven't made a loaf in a while.


Cheese.


Ground coffee.
(Only if it is not in an air-tight container).


Cookie dough.


Bacon.


Old bananas.


Bell peppers.


Cooked hot dogs.


Deli meat.


Squeezed lime juice.


Meatloaf meat, ready to be thawed and cooked.


Onion and celery scraps for making chicken stock.


Lentil soup.


Fully cooked black and navy beans.


Chicken breasts.


Ham bone, and leftover ham.


Frozen fruit for my morning smoothie, and some ice cream.


Pancakes.


Artichoke hearts.


Chicken stock.


Thoughts in response to what I keep in my freezer--

*  I hardly ever use my freezer space for fully-cooked meals.  I will never put a casserole, a whole pizza, or convenient food from the store.  What I'll do instead is freeze partially prepared food.  For example, I'll freeze my bread scraps, but won't freeze the french toast casserole I'll be using them in.  I use my freezer space to make dinner prep in the afternoon go smoother, not to eliminate it completely.

*  I always keep a few "regulars" in the freezer such as my nuts, bread scrap bag, onion/celery bag, and bread-making ingredients.  Other than that, everything else rotates pretty quickly out of the freezer.  Notice how aside from my meatloaf bag, all of my other ground beef bags are gone.  I've used them all!  Now I am working through my chicken breasts.  Only one main meat will "dominate" the freezer at a time.

*  Whenever I am planning my weekly meals, I always look through my freezer to see what I have on hand.  This is what helps me rotate through my freezer quickly.

*  Notice how I only have one ice cream box.  As a matter of fact, I rarely have desserts like that (it was leftover from the kids' parties).  Desserts and ice cream like that are yummy to have, but are not the best way to maximize your freezer space.

***

My concluding thoughts:

1.  Focus more on freezing partially prepared meals opposed to fully prepared ones,
2.  Rotate through your freezer quickly,
and
3.  Freeze items that would make your life easier, not yummier.  

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Three years of motherhood

She not only wears different shoes, she wears each one on the wrong foot.
 
I've been a mom for three years.  Wow!  It feels like it's been much longer.  

People say the years go by fast, and in a way they do, 
but being a 24/7 full-time mom... 
well... let me tell you something-- the days are long, and so are the years.

I am sure one day I'll wake up and realize they did in fact go by fast, and will wish for these little years to return, but not now... not today.  

Today I find myself repeating this quote I came across some blog a while back:
"I have to stop dreaming of 'one day' when things will be easier.  
Because, the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today."