Summer up North

Summer eventually said "hello" to me 2 weeks ago. Byron and i had been planing our trip to the States for what seemed to be months now. We had agreed that my one month off from school would be spent in the States. But as school started to wrap up and i kept looking forward to a break, i found myself wishing we would stay in Mexico instead, or at least for part of my summer time. I guess that only means that Merida is now my home.

But we've had a wonderful time visiting with friends and spending time with family so far. We are definately not doing as much as we wold like to or are visiting as many people as we would desire, but i guess that's how it goes. Byron is still working, but he had a week off last week, which we spent with his family at the beach which was so much fun and so refreshing at the same time.

I've also read some, thought i am currently stuck on a book now that is so bad that i can barely read through it, but at the same time i had to have spent $8 usd on it and not read it through. The book is ATONEMENT. The movie for it came out not so long ago and that's why i started reading it, but it's just plain bad! Don't read it :p I've also read The Kite Runner -- great book! Heavy stuff, but excellent writing and excelent story, though i think i still like the author's other book A Thousand Splendid Suns. If anyone has ready Hosseini's books, i'd like to hear which one of thse two you prefer.

So that's an update of life :) We are now currently in Augusta with Byron's family and my good friend from college Lisa is visiting me ... yaya!!!

The Time of Truth

I've been a Xtian for about 10 years now. I always thought about myself as a strong and mature one, based on the fact that i always knew and did the right things: i did not randomly date before i got married, i never let the sun go down on my anger, i never swore, i did not own pirated music, i was kind and polite to the people around me, etc. and sadly, i was even proud of myself for being like that (who wouldn't?). I would think of myself as very mature in my Xtian walk when truth was that, even though i have done the right things, there was still LOTS of things i still had to grow in.

This week my school is having us take some intro to Bible classes. Because my school is Xtian and we are going through some international Xtian certification, all teachers have to take this intense course. This course was all it took for God to bring me back to my senses. Our first assignment on the first class was to write all of the books of the Bible, preferably in order. While most teachers where scribbling away, i could not get past the first 12 books of the OT and the first 15 in the NT. Most teachers got them all. I thought to myself "well, who cares about the order of the books, it's no big deal". But the moment of truth came when our instructor had us write what each book was about or what major event happened in each book. I was in shock when even the books i had already read, i didn't really know what they were about.

Then as a group we started to go through them, one by one, saying what they were all about. People started shouting out events, verses, location of the verses -- i knew nothing!!! I didn't even know anything about the Israelites exile after Solomon's kingdom... how sad is that???!!! For a 10 year old Xtian, that is just plain embarrassing.

For most teachers in my school, this is all review, but for me it's all new. I am trying to soak in as much as i can, still knowing i will probably forget most of it. I am purposely reading more and more my Bible and studying it more intentionally. I may have done all the right things in the past, but there is still a part of my Xtian life that is very immature still and i need to grow in it.

Staying Strong

It's been almost a week since my friend passed away and life is still going on. I realized that if i wanted to move on with life and not be a moribund, i had to de-attach myself. It sounds insensitive, but it was the only way i could go on with life without wanting to cry/crying like a mad-woman all the time. I think i've reached that point. I am very thankful for my husband who was very understanding and of great encouragement to me. I can't imagine having to be there for your wife as she cries for a guy-friend. But he was great!

I guess i've just dealt with death this past year more than my entire life put together. My dad died, Eduardo died, and Soco (she is like an aunt to me) is currently dieing from cancer. All of these three people cared for me at a particular point in my life. Each meant a lot to me -- some, of course, more than others, but still, their loss is hard enough, but when it's all together, it's just too painful.

But God has been reminding me of His love for me each day. He has given me peace in spite of the challenges he has been having me face.

When a friend dies...

I am really in a confused state right now. Two and a half hours ago Alison (my sister) called me to tell me that Eduardo Bermudez had died in a car accident yesterday morning on his way from Cancun. I went to the visitation right away to give his parents and brother a hug, and cried a bit.

Even though i had not seen Eduardo for over a year, and we were no longer in touch, the news of his death hurt as if i had seen him just yesterday. You see, Eduardo was like a brother to me in my early teens. When i started going to karate at age 12, i did not know this sport would be such a big part of my life. I suddenly became very involved competing, training, and of course wining :) My closest companion soon became Eduardo since we were close in age and in height. We were sparring partners, and because he was 2 belts ahead of me, he would many times assess me in training, giving me tips on how to do certain things better.

On every tournament trip i went to, he went as well. Along with our karate academy, we went to Puebla, Acapulco, Mexico City, Sonora, and Campeche. I remember on one of the trips, we were all ready to head back to Merida, all of us were nicely showered and cleaned up, our bags were packed an in the bus, and we were all in the terrace area gathering together. Well, somehow i felt the urge to throw him in the pool as i saw him standing right near it. And, well, as you could guess, i went ahead with my urge and threw him. Haha :) I ran as fast as i could towards his parents and hid. I told this story to his mom today and she remembered. But... he finally got his revenge when we were in Sonora a few months later and threw me in the pool :)

I also remember during one of our trips on two different ocations people thought we were siblings. Since we kind of just followed each other around, we would find our selfs arguing about dumb stuff, or just constantly talking. We got such a kick out of it the first time it happened, but then when it happened again, we decided we would start referring to each other as "mi hermanito" and "mi hermanita".

Towards the end of my sophmore year i started to notice that he was getting involved with the "wrong crowd." I would suddenly start hearing of parties he would go to and get drunk, but he would always tell me: "Oh, i was just with my friends, and i really didn't get drunk, they just say that." That next year (my junior year) i went to the States for a year and lost a lot of contact with him. Then when i came back my senior year, things were no longer the same. He was now constantly drinking, partying, etc. I got very very anemic and stopped going to karate as often. Sooner than later, we stopped being constantly together. He had started dating a girl and i met Byron that year.

I saw him a few times after that year, during my summers back from from college in the States when i would start training karate again. Rumors were that he was becoming an alcoholic and in 2005 was expelled temporarily from his college because he had gotten involved in some vandalism.

His death was the fruit of alcohol. His friend and him were driving over the speed limit and drunk from Cancun to Merida. They lost control of their car and it got totaled. Eduardo died a few hours after the accident in the hospital and his friend is still in intensive care.

I find myself very confused by his death. In a way i feel like i could have been a much greater influence to keep him from getting so involved in drinking, but i know that that was not the case. Out of all of his friends, i think i was the only one at that time who did not drink -- peer pressure was much more demanding then. In another way, i feel angry at him and all those people out there who do not realize the consequences of alcohol. Each day it seems like there is a reported death due to alcohol and still, people continue to drive irresponsibly. But then also i feel very hurt. He was like my brother when i was in jr. high, and even though many years have passed since, today it feels as if i had lost a sibling.

Reading through the Bible

Ever since i became a Xtain, i've made several attempts to read the entire Bible. Having been a Xtian for about 10 years now, i think i've covered about 2/3 of the Bible just from sermons, small group studies, devos, etc, but i am ashamed by the fact that i cannot say that i've read my entire Bible.

For a while i kind of pushed this thought to the side, but this week i was challenged by a pastor i admire a lot at a conference i attended. He said that a growing Xtian reads his entire Bible once a year. That means, that as a 10 year old Xtian, i should have already the entire Bible 10 times now. Granted, this thought is not at all biblical. It is unwise and unrealistic to say that only those who read through their Bible each year are the only growing Xtians, but the fact that i have not done it at least ONCE is just plain embarrassing.

So i am back on track. I started reading through my Bible 2 years ago and got through Deuteronomy in the OT and Luke in the NT but then stopped, so now i am starting off from where i left off last time. I really hope to finish up no later than the end of 2008. So please, in the next few months, don't hesitate to keep me accountable and ask me how my bible reading is going.

I <3 to teach

Throughout my life, i never really knew what i wanted to be "when i grew up". I remember talking about being a nurse, an architect, an artist, an astronaut, an engineer, some kind of teacher, etc. During my freshman year of college, i decided that i would become a math teacher.

I loved my career! I loved most of my classes and absolutely LOVED my classmates. It was a fun career to be in. But during my last semester at school, while i was student teaching, i thought i had made the hugest mistake of my life -- i hated teaching!!! Teaching was not what i had expected it to be. But oh well, i graduated and got a job in Mexico at Blas Pascal.

I sooner than later realized that teaching was more of a passion than a job for me. I started watching my students learn and work hard in my classes, improve their math skills, get more comfortable in English, etc. I also started realizing that more and more i was "falling in love" with my students. During some classes i could not help myself but constantly laugh out loud, and my students loved it!! The work environment was so comfortable and relaxing. It was almost as if we worked as a team!

Now the year is over with. Last night was my last day seeing most of my students (I'll see some at graduation), and well, for some it was goodbye. I have a lot of work to do for next year, and i very much look forward to my summer vacation, but i cannot wait to start again next year.

Our Primer Aniversario

Last weekend Byron and i were blessed with the opportunity to go to Cancun for the weekend and celebrate our first wedding anniversary. My family has owned an apartment there for as long as i can remember, but due to hurricanes, it had been destroyed and just recently remodeled. So we decided to try the apartment out and very glad we did.

Our time there went so smooth. We drove there, so we didn't have to worry about chasing taxis or buses whenever we wanted to leave the apartment. The apartment had AC in every room, so we would just lay on the couch and enjoy cable TV (we don't have that at home) and an AC in the main room (which we don't have either). We went to every single mall (thanks Byron!) and went out to eat at night. My favorite place where we went was the Hard Rock Cafe. The live band there was amazing and highly enjoyed their performance. We also enjoyed swimming in the pool and in the ocean -- how beautiful!! Can't wait to go back again, hopefully sooner than later :)

Looking back to the past year

Today Byron and I celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. It seems like it was just yesterday, but at the same time it seems like it was ages ago.

So much has happened in the past year. From one day to the other i went from being a student whose greatest responsibility was passing her classes, to a full time teacher and a housewife. I was suddenly in charge of cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, lesson planning and teaching. At first, it was nuts!! I remember the first time i went grocery shopping i ended up buying 2 kg of meat!!!! One time i forgot to check the jean pockets and ended up doing laundry with my chap stick. So you can imagine how our clothes was when i took it out of the dryer :s

But eventually things got under control. I learned how to shop for food and how to do it only once a week instead of 2 to 3 times a week. I learned how to organize myself time-wise, and teaching got under control after many frustrating mornings at school.

Of course, one of the most defining things that i went through this year was my dad passing away. I always knew that my dad would pass away sooner than later -- he had survived many scares. But i guess whenever the time comes for someone you love to leave, you are never ready and it is always too soon, regardless of how ready you are. Since we got married, my dad had been in the hospital on two occasions for about a month each time. I loved my dad so much!!! His love for my sister and i was so evident. He would rejoice doing anything with us: going out to eat, having us over to his house, laying next to him in bed, and even giving us our allowance, even after i got married. It will be 7 months tomorrow since he died. His absence is evident each day.


But all of this, one way or the other, has been a crucial part of my life. I've grown so much!! Of course, there are things that you wish would have never happened, but I'm a different person now. At age 23 i can say that i am right where i want to be and pleased with the life God has allowed me to walk through.

The Parables of Jesus

I've been blessed with the opportunity to listen to a very knowledgeable man these past two days: Dr. Simon Kistemaker - an erudite in the New Testament and especially in the Parables of Jesus. He was invited to come by the presbyterian seminar in Merida and an announcement of his seminar was placed at my school, inviting those who wished to attend. The idea attracted me, not really having any expectations for it besides just learning more.

The sessions are 4 hours long each. One yesterday afternoon, one this morning, on this afternoon, and then repeat tomorrow. So they are very long. So far, in just 3 sessions, i've managed to take 11 back-to-back pages of notes -- i'm quite proud of myself :)

Before yesterday, when i would read a parable i would always conclude that Jesus is talking about the difference between the believer vs. non believer. For example, in the parable of the sewer, i always assumed that as long as you were a believer that meant by default that you were the seed that fell in good ground, and that the previous 3 seeds (the one that falls on the road, the one that falls on the rock, and the one that falls between the bushes and thorns) were the non believers. But to my sad (and raveling!) surprise, as Dr. Kistmaker went through the kinds of seed, i found myself identifying with the third seed (the one that falls between the bushes and thorns). What do i mean by that?? My "plant" grows, but it's constantly battling with the roots of the bushes and the thorns -- thinking more about the way i look, about my students, about my job, about my husband -- instead of putting my full focus on Jesus. How revealing!!!

A second parable that really confronted me was the parable of the talents. A master gives 5 talents to one servant, 2 talents to another, and one talent to the last one. The first and second one invest it and get twice as much, but the 3rd one goes and buries it and guards it, making sure nothing happens to it. When the master comes returns to them, the first and second give him everything they've earned, and the master brings them to his table to celebrate. But when the third one comes, he condemns him and sends him away.

I must say that i never fully understood this parable until today. Dr. K said that the talent was parallel to the word of God. He also said that the jews are like the 3rd servant -- they guard and take good care of the word of God, but never multiply it. I FOUND MYSELF IDENTIFYING MYSELF WITH THE JEW!!! I meditate and take care of the word of God -- i dress modestly, my vocabulary is clean, i go to church each Sunday, etc -- but never go out and multiply!!! What a terrible (and wonderful at the same time) thing to realize this!!!

Lord, you have given me a talent -- don't let me continue being content with just guarding it, i want to multiply it!! Amen.

Cleaning Day

Saturdays are officially "cleaning day." It's the one day our house gets nice and clean, but it continues to amaze me how fast it gets dirty again. When we first got married, cleaning day would take around 2 hours (our house is SUPER tiny, it should have never taken us that long being that the two of us worked at it). So Byron's brain began analyzing the situation, trying to figure out what kind of system we could use in order for it to take less time. And we figured it out! It's now down to 1 hour. But still, with the Merida heat, to clean the house always seems to take us 6 hours, regardless of what kind of system Byron figures out.

A New and Improved Blog :)

For the past few weeks I've enjoyed reading other people's blogs and hence decided to have my own. I then realized that Byron had an old one, so I decided to customize it and pretty much take over it (Byron told me he is a terrible person at blogging, so he is leaving it up to me). I would like to use this space to keep our friends and family who are in the States updated with our lives here in Merida -- our home for the past year. So please feel free to read and leave messages!!!