My delight

Using her dirty laundry basket as a crib.

It is no secret that growing up, I never dreamed or even wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom.  And even after making the most sensible decision to stay at home once Emma was born, I always told people:  "I am not a very good stay-at-home-mom because I hate staying home."

I am always busy, always needing something to do.  The idea of staying home all day makes me want to cry.

With one child, I was able to pull this off quite well.  Emma and I were always on the go.  Between the gym, friends, Costco samples and walks around the neighborhood, we always had something to do.

But once Baby Byron was born, something had to give.  Don't get me wrong, I still try to get out of the house once a day (and we almost always succeed at this), but certainly not as often as we used to.

So we stay home a lot, and for long stretches of time-- and what a delight it has been!  Like I mentioned in a post before, Emma is now creating her own world around the house.  I delight in watching her pretend play.  One of my greatest (and most humblest) privileges has been watching her be a mommy to her babies.  Sure, she used to play and carry them around before, but since Baby Byron's arrival, I have enjoyed watching myself through her play.  The way she wraps her babies in blankets, rocks them while saying "ssshhhhh," puts them in their crib, sings to them, gives them a bottle or "nurses" them.  

While I secretly observe her play like this, and as my eyes blink away my tears, I thank the Lord that He has given me the privilege to be the role model for my girl.

I do grieve how quickly she is growing, but I also find myself looking forward to walking through life with her, holding her by the hand (literally and metaphorically speaking) as she grows into the woman the Lord has designed her to be.